Welcome to a new segment of The Flying Onion: Ask the Onion! In this segment, The Flying Onion Staff will give advice by answering questions sent in by students. Three upperclassman staff members will provide their advice: Dr. Jane, Dr. Lavande, and Dr. Dinkle.
Question #1: Ignored (15-year-old female) Recently, my best friend got a boyfriend, and she isn’t spending as much time with me and my other friends. I’m glad she is happy in her relationship, but I wish we were still close. What should I do?
Dr. Jane: Definitely talk with your friend. It’s much better to face issues like these rather than let them simmer. Be honest with her; tell her that you’re glad that she’s happy in her relationship, but that you miss her. Have an open conversation. Ask her if she’d be open to more equally balancing her time between her friends and her relationship. I can’t guarantee that she’ll take your feedback well, but this is what has most effectively worked for me in the past. If she doesn’t want to make the effort to see you after this talk, she isn’t worth it!
Dr. Lavande: I believe you should confront your friend about the issue. Many people are getting into their first relationships in high school, and don’t have a strong grasp on balancing both friends and relationships. She may not even realize you feel neglected.
Question #2: College troubles (18-year-old male) I’m a senior at DHS and I’ve applied to a few colleges. I’m starting to get some decisions back, and I was upset when I got barely any money from my top choice school. But, I got an almost-full ride from another school I applied to (a school that’s much lower on my list). I don’t hate this other school, but I really had my mind set on my top choice. Do you have any advice?
Dr. Dinkle: Ok, so honestly, this is a tough decision. I’m not going to tell you there is a right or wrong answer, because each person has their own unique schools that they applied to and packages that they will receive. In my personal opinion, I would go to the school that gives you more money in their package, rather than your dream school. Yes, I know it’s your dream school, but from a logical perspective accepting the offer that took off the most money will result in you having less debt in the long run – which will create an easier life for your future self.
Dr. Jane: I agree, this is a tough one. My advice is to carefully weigh your options; What do you want in your college experience? Do you think that the opportunities at your top school are worth the debt? Some people are perfectly fine with continuing to pay for college for years after they complete their education, and some people have more of an issue with that. You should base your decision on what you want to get out of your experience, and how much debt you’re willing to accrue
Question #3: Peer pressure (16-year-old female) I’ve started going to parties with my friends, and they’ve been getting into doing stuff like vaping and drinking. I don’t want to do that stuff, but I still want to have fun with my friends. And I’m kind of worried they’ll eventually stop asking me to hang out if I keep saying “no thanks”. What would you guys do?
Dr. Lavande: You shouldn’t put yourself in situations where you feel uncomfortable. If your friends want to engage in these things, knowing the risks, and you don’t, you need to find new friends who share your values. You should not put your well-being in danger just to fit in with friends.
Dr. Dinkle: Yeah, so if you’re still having fun with your friends why is what they’re doing affecting you? If you’re being pressured or feel uncomfortable, then I would tell you to get new friends, but if they want to do certain stuff and aren’t forcing you to do it, then I don’t think there should be a problem. If they are your true friends they shouldn’t care if you don’t want to participate – but the same goes vice versa.
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